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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28781049">Duality</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mareel/pseuds/Mareel'>Mareel</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Duality [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Mass Effect Trilogy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst and Feels, Comfort, Family, M/M, Mass Effect 3, Mindoir (Mass Effect), Ocean, Soul-Searching, mShenko</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 07:15:02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>591</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28781049</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mareel/pseuds/Mareel</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The man in the mirror.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kaidan Alenko/Male Shepard</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Duality [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2110131</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Duality</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This takes place on the <i>Normandy SR-2</i> during ME3. It's the first in what will be a series featuring Malcolm Shepard.  </p><p>Written in response to a <a href="https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/600739385964625963/785183464177270784/duality.png">picture prompt</a> on Discord by MaxRev</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Shepard has been standing motionless in front of the bathroom mirror for far too long. Putting down the data pad, I take the few steps that bring me close enough to wrap my arms around him from behind.  </p><p>“Hey, there you are.”  I’m trying to keep my tone light, not to let the worry show.</p><p>It takes him some time to respond and he’s not relaxing against me.</p><p>“Who <i>am</i> I, Kaidan?”</p><p>His voice is muted… sounds like he’s a lot further away than in my arms.  He touches his face where the fiery scars are gradually fading. It’s a gesture I’ve been seeing a lot since I rejoined the <i>Normandy</i>.  </p><p>Reaching for his hand and gently turning him to face me, I’m not sure if he’ll actually let me in. The hand I’m holding is trembling just a little… maybe he’ll hear me. </p><p>“You’re Commander Malcolm Shepard. More importantly, you’re the man I love. Nothing’s going to change that, Mal.  <i>Nothing.</i> Ever. “</p><p>His rigid posture finally softens and he lets me draw him closer, cradling his head against my shoulder and cupping his scarred cheek with my hand. Some of his tension is beginning to dissipate.</p><p>After simply holding him for what feels like a long time, I lead us to the couch. Thought about the bed, but this isn’t something sex is going to solve and I don’t want him to think that’s what I’m after.  </p><p>He hasn’t said anything since I answered his question, so I try again.  “Who were you seeing in that mirror?”</p><p>He finally meets my eyes. “The sea…”</p><p>I’m not sure what that means. Squeezing his hand, I rub my thumb across his palm and hope he’ll trust me enough to continue.  </p><p>“Mom used to say she could see the sea in my eyes. And she wasn't wrong. It was in me, the sea...”</p><p>As close as we’ve become, he’s never told me much about his past. He’s great at getting other people to spill their stories to him, but never reveals much of his own. All I know is that he was born on Mindoir. I guess he expects that this would tell the whole tale.  Everyone knows what happened there. But that's not <i>his</i> story, not all of it.</p><p>“I saw that… in the mirror. For the first time in a long time. The sea.”</p><p>Okay, now I”m closer to understanding… maybe.  “Your eyes are blue again.”  </p><p>“Yeah… guess so. No idea if that will last. Maybe the next thing I have to do will shift them back again. The next batarians i have to kill… not because of who they are, but for whatever they’re doing.  At least i keep telling myself that.”</p><p>I want to know more, but he’ll have to decide what and when to tell me. Right now, he’s back with me, and that’s enough.</p><p>“You do what needs to be done, Shepard.  And I’ve got your six every step of the way.  Just want you to always remember that.  I don’t care what your scars look like or what color your eyes appear to be  - except as it matters to you. I know who you are, what kind of man you are. </p><p>Those blue eyes never leave mine as he kisses me.  It’s not a kiss looking for escape from talking… it feels more like an affirmation. He’ll tell me more when he’s ready, when he’s able to put it into words.</p><p>But there’s relief in that kiss. And love.  </p><p>No matter what else, we’re good.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The Mindoir that Malcolm Shepard is from differs from a lot of common concepts of the planet in that it is a world having  significant areas of oceans.  </p><p> <br/>Just to set the tone for the series -<br/><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A5muVg_ZWek">Fear a' Bhàta (The Boatman)</a></p></blockquote></div></div>
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